Pandemic At School
Week 37
Day 251 – Sunday, November 22, 2020
We slept in a tiny bit. After breakfast, the kids and I went to Target to get a couple of things. Leah and I did not pack enough sweatshirts…. Leah also needed some dental wax because a wire on her braces was poking her.
Drew came over and we played a new to us game, Carcasonne, which was fun and pretty simple to play.
Grief is definitely hitting us sporadically, and we are all dealing with it differently. I just realized that my mom has literally never lived alone. She was married the same month that she graduated from high school.
We ate leftovers and sandwiches for dinner, and watched Moana on Disney+ for the evening’s entertainment.
My dad’s autopsy and cremation are unlikely to happen before I leave. Everything takes longer, due to COVID.
Day 252 – Monday, November 23, 2020
I didn’t sleep too well last night. Part of the problems was every 2.5 – 3 hours there was a loud noise that seemed to be coming from the garage. This morning I told Mom and kind of described the sound. She realized that Dad had turned the air compressor on for whatever he was working on Thursday morning. She knew he’d been in the garage and had turned off the power strip and the lights, but didn’t realize the air compressor was on. She turned it off.
I tagged along with Mom to Dulcey’s house to decide what artwork of Dad’s we wanted to display at his funeral. That was the first time I’d been to her current house, it’s nice. I went ahead and went to Crest, Aldi, and Walmart with Mom as well.
Drew got us dinner from Pollo Campero, a Guatemalan chain restaurant. The grilled chicken was really good, I liked the yucca fries, but the sweet plantains were amazing!
After dinner, Drew, Bailey, the kids, and I played Among Us. Hannah and I were the newbies. Leah and Elijah were chosen to be the Imposter WAY too many times. Elijah is always sus…
My dad’s body was released to the funeral home, but they are waiting for the permit from the state to proceed with the cremation. I had no idea what a complicated process it is.
Day 253 – Tuesday, November 24, 2020
First thing in the morning, we noticed that there was a water truck with a digger on the back parked in front of Mom’s house. It was putting up a Road Closed sign…. Thankfully, the digging took place on the 36th St side of the block and not the 38th St side that runs next to the house. The water never was turned off, for which we were truly thankful.
My good friend, Sunshine, stopped by for a few minutes to drop off some AMAZING cookies and other yummy snacks. We got to talk for a few minutes. Because of stupid COVID, I hadn’t gotten to see her in almost a year.
Later in the morning, Mom, Drew, Dulcey, and I took pictures, drawings, and Dad’s guitar to the church to set up some tables. Afterward, Dulcey took Mom to the funeral home to pick up the programs, and also, unexpectedly, pick up Dad’s ashes.
I printed a few more photos of Dad that Mom wanted to add to the funeral display. She borrowed several frames from pictures around the house, but she was still short a few. I took the girls to Dollar Tree to get the rest of the frames. We didn’t go to the closest one since Mom said the store on May and Hefner was bigger and had a better selection. I can’t remember the last time I was that far north on May Ave, but it’s likely more than a decade, possibly closer to two. How am I that old?
Since the water never got turned off, I was able to do six loads of laundry.
My mom’s neighbor, Kay, brought over brisket, potato salad, and cherry pie for dinner. All of this yummy food from Sam’s makes me want a membership.
Drew came over for dinner. Parker came over after dinner. Drew, the kids, and I played Among Us again.
Tomorrow is the funeral, and that’s going to be difficult. We’ve stayed busy preparing for it. I told my mom today that all funerals are thrown together at the last minute. She countered with the fact that some funerals are preplanned. True, they may be planned, but they are never scheduled. It’s hard.
Day 254 – Wednesday, November 25, 2020
Today was Dad’s funeral. I got up at 5am, got ready, got kids up one at a time to shower and get ready. I finished making breakfast while Mom got ready. We got to the church at 9am to finish setting up the displays of Dad’s photos and artwork.
Relatives started showing up around 9:15 and more local friends around 9:30. Denny and Ara Ann Duty, Joel and Jennifer Duty and their boys, Darlene Mason, Danell Oxler, Diana and Randy Mark all traveled from Wichita to show support for our family. Several local friends showed up as well, including my very first school friend, Aimee, who I’ve known for 41 years. The funeral was live streamed on Facebook, and 71 people viewed it.
I had asked to the preacher to read Psalms 139, which is my absolute favorite. I cried. We sang Amazing Grace. I cried. We sang I’ll Fly Away. I cried. The Air Force Honor Guard played Taps. I cried. The Honor Guard presented the flag to Mom. I cried. It was wonderful and extremely difficult all wrapped up in 45 minutes.
Eight years ago, my mom instituted Pie Night the evening before Thanksgiving. Everyone present gets to request one pie. Pie Night became Dad’s favorite holiday, and he was especially excited for this year. My kids and I have never been to Pie Night because traveling 700 miles for both Thanksgiving and Christmas is extremely taxing. However, since we missed celebrating Dad’s 75th birthday during our long Fall Break that became a one day break due to COVID, we planned to come for Pie Night and Thanksgiving. Never in a million years did I expect to attend Dad’s funeral the same day as my first Pie Night.
We went ahead with Pie Night because it was his favorite. We had three savory pies and eleven sweet pies. The savory pies were Cheshire pork pie, chicken pot pie, and bacon and egg pie. The sweet pies were as follows: pecan pumpkin, lemon meringue, cherry, pecan, Dutch apple, green tomato, S’more, banana cream, chocolate cream, orange custard, and blueberry bacon. I was able to try all the savory pies and four sweet pies. All were amazing, but blueberry bacon is my new favorite.
Day 255 – Thursday, November 26, 2020
Thanksgiving Day
I slept extremely well because of something I took to “take the edge off” last night. I got up around 6:45 and got ready for the day. Mom had planned on making cinnamon rolls for breakfast, but no one was in the mood to come over early. She made them and they were ready around 10am. They were fantastic, as always.
The dogs didn’t eat their dinner last night. They are used to my dad being outside with them a lot, and my mom often stands on the deck and talks to them while they eat. I went out to try to coax them into eating. After about 5 minutes, the little dog, Bubba started eating, but Hoss just wanted me to pet him. Hannah and Leah came outside, and then Hoss decided he could eat. Bubba kept getting in his way, so he took a mouthful of food and spit it out on the deck. Bubba went right over and ate that while Hoss finished up the previous night’s dinner.
Mom did a great job of getting most of the dinner ready in advance, and we didn’t need to start anything until 2:30. Dulcey made several dishes as well. We all ate too much. Then we ate pie. Tonight, I tried the Dutch apple pie, and the pecan pumpkin. Both were very good, but I really wanted another piece of the blueberry bacon. I think tomorrow, I will do that.
We got the meal cleaned up and the living room back to normal. Elijah was too warm, so we went out on the deck and talked the dogs into eating most of their dinner.
After the Greenlee/Ruark clan left, we watched Charlie Brown Thanksgiving and Charlie Brown Christmas. I could barely keep my eyes open, so I decided to call it a night.
Day 256 – Friday, November 27, 2020
Got up around 7am and got ready. I ate oatmeal for breakfast, but a couple of hours later, I finished up the blueberry bacon pie.
Hannah and I looked through my dad’s bookcases and found some books that we’d like. Mom is keeping a notebook of our requests just in case two people want the same things. I’m pretty sure that no one else is interested in the same books I am… Strong’s Concordance, Holman Bible Dictionary, and Josephus. Hannah would like some of his classic literature and a book on woodcarving.
My elementary school BFF, Aimee, texted me and we met a coffee shop and chatted for a couple of hours. We’ve kept up with bits and pieces of each other’s lives over Facebook, but it was great to talk in person.
In the afternoon, Hannah and I took Dad’s ashes to Dulcey’s house where we opened up the box and put small amounts of ashes in 8 little containers. I have some plans for a personal memorial of my dad. Dulcey and I figured other family members may decide at a later time that they would like to do the same. If not, everything will be either scattered in the backyard or interred at Ft Sill in the summer.
Dulcey had recently helped scatter her father in-law’s ashes, so she knew what to expect. I was surprised at what the cremains looked like, but I wasn’t bothered by them.
Everyone came over for Thanksgiving round two, the leftovers for dinner. I did my best not to overeat, and tried to choose wisely to avoid stomach issues (no eggs or cinnamon/nutmeg/cloves) since we’ll be in the car tomorrow.
After dinner we watched A Christmas Story. Elijah and Leah actually watched most of it which they clearly had not done in the past. There were some good chuckles from them.
Tomorrow, we drive…
Day 257 – Saturday, November 28, 2020
We left OKC right on time at 6am. We stopped in Joplin, MO; Waynesville, MO; and the western suburbs of St Louis. We encountered at least a dozen roadkill deer, a “blasting area” and “watch for falling rocks” in the Ozarks (widening the highway??), a speed trap where three cops had pulled over three vehicles, and just before downtown St Louis the interstate went from four lanes to ONE lane for absolutely no reason.
We made it home in exactly 10.5 hours, and we found ready to be heated up dinner in our fridge. The cats were looked after extra well too.
We are glad to be home. The cats are screaming at us to let us know that they missed us. Leah and I are requesting a snow day for Monday which is not impossible.
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